5 online dating horror stories

It was about killing unicorns (and no he was not being ironic). Captain Pretentious • Dude talked for several hours nonstop about his multi-discipline art project, which was based solely on an experience his father had 40 years ago.

I kept making, “oh that’s nice,” “okay,” sort of comments and he just kept singing louder and louder. When I got home, I had an e-mail from him saying that we didn’t have any “chemistry.” Chemistry, really? It was the only thing he talked about, no exaggeration, for 70% of the date.

On the phone it had come up that he was a Redsox fan — I am a diehard Yankees fan.

5 online dating horror stories-165 online dating horror stories-33

5 online dating horror stories

The Strange • After we had sex, she told a story about her marine biology internship and about a pack of manatees they once found in the water off Key West.

She really loved manatees, and eventually she jumped from her boat into the water and landed on a manatee.

I was so grossed out I couldn’t bring myself to ask what the problem was. • I went out with a guy in his 30s who told me within the first hour of the date that: he didn’t have a bank account, had never filed taxes, worked on a drug farm, and paid with his “green card” aka pot for goods and services in the neighborhood.

By the end of dinner it looked like he’d spit out more than he’d ate. • Nowhere on her profile did it say anything about her being an acid casualty and ketamine dealer. The first is when I waited an hour outside at Harvard Square in late January because my date was in the North End buying pot (not for me.) The second was with a grad student in English who dismissed my skepticism towards Freudianism with, “I guess I’m just not as much of social determinist as you are.” The moral of these stories: don’t date Harvard men.

I don’t really drink much, and I don’t really have a problem with it, and I didn’t really know the girl very well, and I didn’t want to be there.

While I am sure it was great for her, it was just not where I expected to be on a first date.But the manatee was actually dead, and the body ended up falling apart and she was covered in dead manatee slime and someone had to fish her out and clean her up.After some words of consolation from me about how fucked up that experience must have been, she told me she made it up, and every other story she had told me that night, because she likes making up stories.• I went back to the person’s place after a concert and unwittingly served as passive-aggressive muscle for a drug deal. But when the conversation turned to “future plans” the guy could not tell me much beyond how many dogs he wanted to own at some future time. • Made the wrong comment about conceptual artist Matthew Barney to the wrong art student…It was perilously close to that scene from Boogie Nights. got called a “bourgeois pig.” • He spent one-third of the time telling me about the musical he was writing about raccoons, one-third of the time talking about C , and one-third of the time demonstrating the plot of Othello using the salt and pepper shakers.The Super-Speed Dater • We were supposed to meet at a coffee shop at 3pm. He asked me what I do creatively and I told him (succinctly) that I obsessively document everything.

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