Funny dating profiles for men

You will put on some mascara, plunge out into the snow, meet a stranger, and after an hour of slightly stilted conversation, he will grab the check.You will try to split it, but he will pay, and you will stand to re-wrap yourself against the frigid wind.

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You will look for things in common in their profile (they like Scrabble too! You will send them a note, carefully crafted to show interest and attention to detail. The next one will, but she spells “you” as “u” and you will let the conversation stall.

Finally, one of the cool girls writes back, and you will banter a bit, swapping favorite restaurants or concert venues.

You will march home to an empty inbox and the desire to spend another hour browsing and writing will start to fade.

***** You might think online dating would create some much-needed “fairness” between the sexes.

Why do I alternate between playing the damsel and the playing the demanding entitled a**hole? Out here, at a bar or restaurant, I work really hard to make sure that you know we are equals participating in a traditionally unequal transaction.

You don’t order my wine and we split the check because we are peers. I have a job, you have a job, we’re all on a budget, and I did eat most of the sweet potato fries!

I go to my inbox and see who wants to talk to me and then I choose to whom I’ll respond.

Sometimes I send a “thanks but no thanks” to particularly sweet messages, but usually I’m so overwhelmed by the new things to read and the new choices in front of me that I ignore those nice guys too.

***** It’s a little too far past January 1st to call this a New Year’s Resolution, but I’ve decided to make a change.

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