No dating policy at school

07/23/1993: Approved by the Chancellor, to be effective August 20,1993.

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Maybe your child envisions texting with someone they’re too afraid to talk to in the hallway at school. Before you freak out, calmly ask, “What does it mean to date someone at your age?

It’s hard to have rules around an area that is so undefined. ” You might be surprised and relieved at their answer.

If your child wants to date in middle school, it probably has less to do with partnership, and more to do with searching for an answer to the persistent question: “Am I the type of person someone could like? You may draw a hard line against dating, but in middle school, kids can be more attracted to both people and things their parents prohibit.

It’s hard to say you can’t spend time with a certain person, especially when that person is with your child for eight unsupervised hours a day at school.

Central to the preservation of this environment is the trust that should characterize all interactions among those working toward the common goal of the institution, namely, our students, faculty, unclassified staff, and university support staff.

This trust is put at risk when members of the University community engage in consenting romantic or sexual relationships that involve persons of unequal power, for example, administrator and faculty, faculty and student, supervisor and employee.

Then it’s time to tell them what you’re okay with and where you have hard limits.

Be brave enough to have hard conversations about physical and emotional intimacy and reputation and anything else that concerns you.

Instead of banning people, think about banning activities.

You might say, “I’m not okay with you going on a date, or labeling this person your boyfriend/girlfriend, but it’s fine to get to know this person better through texts.” If your middle schooler has a stubborn infatuation, invite their new friend to have dinner with your family.

Failure to do so will be a conflict of interest and will be subject to disciplinary action for violation of University policy, up to and including dismissal.

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