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"I feel as if I make out with a guy and tell a guy I'd like to enjoy sexual congress, he should be stoked.

I had about a year-long run of being semi-seduced by men to have them hightail it, like scared little bunnies.

It was making me feel like crap, so I went to Europe, specifically Stockholm, and immediately got laid."For the time being, going to Europe is off the table for me, if only because I hid my passport from myself after a long-distance tryst with someone I'd met on a work trip went sideways.

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Dating in my twenties and thirties made me feel like Odysseus, trying to choose between dashing myself on the ego-bruising rocks of casual romps or a slow death from unrequited lust for garbage humans.

In the context of dating, those ages felt a lot less damning than 40; they felt a lot more viable. As ambivalent as I am about having my own children, there's something haunting about that scene from where Marisa Tomei stomps her foot about her biological clock ticking.

My clock didn't begin ticking louder when I turned 40, but the echo of her boots on the floor did.

Data scientist Dale Markowitz wrote via email, "When it comes to receiving quality messages on Ok Cupid (that is, first messages that turn into conversations), there is no penalty to being 40 or over.

In fact, the proportion of men to women on Ok Cupid grows with age; women over 40 get on average more messages than women under 40, and have the pick of the litter, so to speak."If Markowitz is right, then perhaps being 40 could be to my advantage.

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(And love, ideally.) If it weren't for the algorithms, I could meet all of these people IRL and they wouldn't know I was 40 unless I showed them my birth certificate — ah, the very idea made me irate.

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