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If you're a guy, you have probably considered how the girl's first name would sound with your last name.All this happens before you ever meet in that restaurant for lunch (lunch is always a good place to start).

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On its face I don't think this was a bad reason.

But peeling back the layers of my psyche, I think something different was happening.

My unspoken thinking—probably not even a fully formed thought—was that God was not working, so I should do it myself. Each of them was a possibility, a mystery, a project. I am not exaggerating when I say that I sometimes spent hours reviewing profiles.

This underlying idea fits well with the structure of online dating. This is because I would fall several days, or even weeks, behind.

Many people in their late 20s try online dating to meet the perfect person they have (surprisingly) failed to meet in real life. But the temptation to pore over online profiles for hours at a time in order to unearth the soul-mate who has eluded you all your life-that temptation is real.

I noticed (mainly in retrospect) an interesting phenomenon in my own approach to online dating. I don't know why the temptation to let myself be deceived (or at least misled) in the online context was so strong.And about that time, I met my wife (who turned out to be every bit as wonderful as I always thought she was).When dating is initiated through most internet sites, it differs from normal dating in at least one important respect: you start out knowing a great deal about the person you are dating.You have invariably exchanged voluminous information before meeting in person.If you think it's going well, you have probably memorized every word on the other person's profile and pondered how your own eccentricities might or might not mix with what you've read.During that year and a half, I was thwarted by my own unrealistic expectations.

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